Lots of links!

First of all, there's the article from the NYTimes about what it's like to audition for Saturday Night Live, in front of Lorne Michaels.  It's in that multiple voice interview style and has voices from throughout the series (Chevy Chase through Dana Carvey, then Molly Shannon, Jimmy Fallon and even current cast folks).  There are links to extended interviews with a few folks, and within all of that, there's footage of Kristin Wiig at the Groundlings, and the original auditions of Dana Carvey, Will Farrell, and Jimmy Fallon.  There's also a video interview with Fred Armisen.  It's a really eye-opener to how comedy looks easy but comes with so much anxiety, and the silence in the videos is excruciating.  Worth checking out.

Vegan side note: if you like eating veggies and even if you don't, you gotta get on Thug Kitchen.  Completely NSFW - lots of foul language and f-bombs, but great recipes and ideas for eating healthy food made from plants, and lots of capping on snack food companies.

Had a big audition last week.  Because there's nothing concrete to remember these accomplishment/milestone moments, I like to reward myself with objects that help me remember these successes.  In this case, it was a trip to the Muji store in SOMA where I found these socks.  Which are awesome.  What can I say, sometimes it's the little things.

I believe I've mentioned the Geena Davis Institute for Gender Representation in Media at USC's Annenberg School of Journalism, yes?  A new report from them on gender inequality in the top 500 films from 2007-2012 tells it like it is.

And finally, this woman just rocks my world with her talent, originality, creativity and refusal to let others shape her image and message.  Here's something from the album that comes out next week, and here's something I just found on youtube this week: her first studio album, unreleased.  The track that starts at 1:43 may be my new 'I just auditioned and now I'm done' celebration.

Shout Out to Kneepads!

In the past few months, I've used my kneepads a ton!

My awesome soft kneepads

1) for the Big Driver shoot

2) when I played a dog for the UWAC 36 Hour Playfestival/SF Safehouse Benefit

3) leant them to a summer camp student

4) during the Foolsfury sponsored Mary Overlie workshop

This doesn't include all of the times that I threw my kneepads into my bag 'just in case' for auditions, readings, etc. where I didn't know what the physical work would entail.

I bought these kneepads probably 5 or more years ago from a nondescript martial arts store on Mission street near the Armory.  They were sold per kneepad and I think they were $5 or $6 each. 

They are soft, so they don't make too big of a lumpy shape under pants, like a harder kneepad might.  They have no logos/words on them, so you're not unconsciously advertising anything when you wear them under light colored clothing.

And, most importantly, they keep my knees safer from bruises, bumps, other injuries, allowing this easy bruising actor to leap into highly physical acting related antics with confidence.

Not bad. Not bad at all.


Yes this is a kneepad selfie

Thanks kneepads!!

Actor Etiquette Soapbox or A Short Rant

Dear actor friends, aspiring actors, anyone who wears the actor hat who may read this post - having been on the asking people to do stuff side lately and watching friends move into the producing/asking people to do stuff side, I feel I have to stand up and say this:

If you are asked via email or phone message to do something acting related - anything from an audition to a reading to a role itself, even if this request comes out of the blue, from someone you've never heard of, even if you're not available or interested in the thing you're being asked to do, email or return the call WITHIN 24 HOURS.

Even if it's just to say 'I saw your message and I don't have an answer for you yet'

Why?  Because someone, somewhere, is doing some hard work, looking up contact information, asking for referrals and generally sweating because they need people in order to make a creative project move forward and they don't have enough of the kind of people that they need.  And, in the middle of that sweating and hard work, someone THOUGHT OF YOU.

This thought, my friends, deserves to be acknowledged. And acknowledged in a way that the person who reached out is aware of - so not just reading or listening and then deleting, but RESPONDING.  With thanks. With recognition of effort. With 'here's some other people instead of me'.  With grace.  And, above all, IN A TIMELY FASHION WITHIN 24 HOURS of the initial message.

Maybe your life is crazy hectic.  Maybe you're dashing between jobs and classes and auditions.  It takes just 5 minutes to triage your inboxes and note if anyone is asking if you would like to spend some time doing this thing that you love doing.  And maybe 5-10 more minutes to say yes or no or 'I need some more time to think about this, what is your deadline for decisions.'

And it's fine to say you're not available or not interested.  It's way better than silence.  Thank them for thinking of you, for reaching out, and move on.

Stepping down.

Regularly scheduled gender parity posts, random book reviews, and other actor daily life musings back atcha soon.

Story vs. Fact

I've tried to write a post on this concept and how it holds actors back several times over the past year, but once again, Bonnie Gillespie hits the nail on the head in a way better way than I ever could.

Go read ya'll.

And then set aside some time to wade through the archives - she's one of the best resources out there for an on-camera actor.

And Bay Area folks - have you taken a look at Apple Box Studios Films yet?  A new by artists for artists company with a video creation focus - they shoot auditions, edit reels, and put together websites - I haven't had a chance to take advantage of their services yet, but I'm sure I will soon!

When is it okay to talk about body parts?

Let's say you live in San Francisco.  And let's say you have a female friend who is a great chef.  We'll call her Josie.  She has run her own restaurant, and is currently adjunct faculty at City College in the restaurant and hospitality program.  In her course, students run a mock restaurant  - they staff every position at that restaurant from chef to line cook to host to server to busser.  And, for 3-4 weeks, their restaurant is open to the public 3 nights a week. 

Josie is really proud of the work her students have done - she uses facebook, twitter and whatever other social media she's good at to invite her extended network to come to the restaurant.
She says things like 'the food is great!' and 'the service is exceptional' and 'the men are all wearing tight pants and their butts look a-maz-ing!'

What's your reaction in this hypothetical scenario?  Is it 'Awesome! Nothing like some well formed glutes to get the ol' salivary juices flowing! I'm booking a table for tomorrow!'  or is it 'hey wait a minute - aren't you their professor?  Josie - doesn't talking about your students bodies in this way violate a code of ethics or professional conduct or something?  As your friend, you might not want to announce that tight pants/amazing butts thing on a public forum.'

I'm hoping it's something along the lines of the 2nd response.  I'm aware that parts of the first response may also cross your mind.  I know that a lot of us like looking at well formed bodies, and that we sometimes discuss those well formed bodies with our friends. 

Here's the key differences though. 1) public forum and 2) professor student relationship and 3) did I mention public forum?

Here's a real situation - there's a community college in the Bay Area, outside of San Francisco, currently running a production of a swashbuckling play with sword fights, and from what I can gather on public forums, costuming from the era of the piece, so that means women in corsets and lots of cleavage.  The director of the piece, who I don't know personally, but we've got some mutual facebook friends, is adjunct faculty at this community college.  On a facebook group, he has described his piece thusly: 'Boobs and Swords! Send me an haiku about swashbuckling and win two comps! (limit 10 pair per performance. Ten pair of what? Comps. Pervert.)'

And with this simple phrase, he's communicating to the larger community that the men are valuable for what they do (those swords and the swashbuckling) and the women are valuable for what they look like (that's the boobs part of this whole thing).  On a 1) public forum and 2) as the director (professor) describing his actors (students).

Some people have said 'so what?' to this whole thing.  Others have sent angry emails to the director's supervisors asking for him to lose his job.

Where do you fall on this spectrum?

More importantly - if your reaction to the hypothetical scenario is different from your reaction to the real scenario - why is it different? 

I'd love to hear answers to those questions in the comments.

Hand Model Adventures

Out there at the end of my slashes - actor/teaching artist/voiceover/on-camera/hand model - is the one that provokes a lot of giggles. At least for me anyway.

I'm a hand model.

Genetics plays into this tremendously.  I've got long thin fingers, strong fingernails that don't break, and that are so white at the tips, that manicurists have thought I was already seen by someone else who gave me a french manicure.

Hustle plays into this too.  Before I had a hand modeling portfolio, I had a 3 quarter headshot with my hands in frame.  This photo was enough to book me my first hand modeling job - which was for an instruction manual for a medical device that was kind of like an asthma inhaler, but had these removable parts that needed to be cleaned in a very specific way.  I found that job on Craigslist, and I made sure I kept the photographer's contact info so that I could get a copy of the finished product.

I used those photos to start a 'portfolio' and booked another hand modeling job, also from Craigslist.  This time, my hands stood in for the hands of some fictive super hero character, and I pointed at the 2 DVD's you'd get for free if you bought a certain video game.  Again, I made sure I got copy.

Around this time, I signed with an agency in San Francisco.  Although I initially went in for their on-camera and voiceover divisions, I let the print division know that I'd done what I've learned is called 'parts modeling' and gave them the photos I'd collected so far.

After taking a look at other peoples' portfolios on my agent's website, I realized that I could ask a photographer friend to shoot some additional photos and round out my portfolio.  I brought some props - a camera, a bowl of fruit, a notebook and pen, and we took some additional shots of my hands holding things.

Throughout this time, I've got on auditions/modeling calls for my hands.  The basic formula of these calls goes like this: show up in the right place at the right time, hold something, someone takes some photos of it.  Sometimes, there's video involved.  For one audition, I was shown how to work a fancy-schmancy juicer and filmed doing that.    Doing hand model auditions has really helped me get over a lot of audition baggage.  You either book it or you don't.  There's not a lot involved beyond that for the auditioner.  It's entirely about the client making a choice between the available options.

When I book hand model work and I'm not the only talent for the project, it's always a weird experience.  For most of the people on site, I don't look like the talent (who are in wardrobe and makeup), and I'm not crew because those folks have all been there for hours.  Someone will inevitably want to introduce themselves and reach for my hand, and I usually can't shake because I've got makeup on. "I'm the hand model" I say, and hold up my hands for them to look at. "Oh, right" is the typical response, and they've get a satisfied look on their faces because they've figured it all out.

A few other goofy hand model things: since hand modeling is rather far down my list of slashes, I'm not in elbow length gloves all the time, like this woman is.  But I do think about sunscreen and hand tan lines, use a fairly high end hand cream on a regular basis, and wear gloves when I ride my bike.  When I schedule a job, I usually don't do any dishes for the few days before I do it, and get really paranoid about cooking burns and paper cuts.

On the day of the booking, I spend as much time as possible with my forearms vertical, elbows down, hands up, to minimize the size of the veins in the back of my hands.  This used to mean funny looks on public transit as I sat like a surgeon about to go into the OR, until I realized I could just stand and hold the rail or strap.

In the end though, I get paid for the work I do, and getting paid for a few hours of holding things while someone shoots photos or video keeps the roof over my head and food on the table so that I can take on the acting projects that may not compensate me as well financially, but feed me artistically.

December Slumps

I could be seriously worried right now.   Compared to earlier this year when it seemed like my agent was sending me out every few days, I've barely heard anything (other than those weird beating the bushes kinds of calls where they need twin native Tagalog speakers or real-life professional chefs who also have rare skin diseases).

I could be freaking out - have they forgotten me? Did someone say something and they've decided they're going to drop me and haven't told me?

I'm not worried and I'm not riding any emotional roller coasters.  Thanks to my audition tracking spreadsheet.  Since I've tracked auditions in a spreadsheet for a few years now, I'm at the point where I can see trends in the audition calendar - and, it turns out that for every year I've tracked December is just a slow month when it comes to auditions.  So I'm fine - it's the calendar, not me.

I'm using these quiet weeks to work audition pieces, look at the bigger picture and think about what I'd like to accomplish in 2013.  Because if it's anything like the last few years have been, January is going to get really busy!

Entelechy

So I've just learned about this word/concept and it's been making me stagger a bit.

It's Greek in origin, and the Greek word means something like 'having a goal' or 'creating completion'

Aristotle uses it when talking about plants and seeds.  It's the essence of what's in a seed that makes it grow into the right kind of plant - the essential thing that makes a tomato seed grow a tomato plant or a pumpkin seed a pumpkin vine.  In other words, the entelechy of the acorn is an oak tree, the entelechy of a caterpillar is a butterfly and so on.

It's a fantastic word that holds in it the concepts of soul, potential, growth, transformation, self-actualization, possibility.  It's a way to name one's purpose and reason for being.

What kind of oak tree is already there, waiting for me to manifest it?

your homework for the weekend

Over on the 2amtheatre blog, Travis Bedard has thrown out a challenge - what season would you program?

I've weighed in in the comments, and you can too.

Take a look here.

Likeable female protagonists & Patton Oswalt on gamechangers

Must Read #1:
Stealing the Herd by playwright Carolyn Gage over on Howlround is about 'likeability' of protagonists in Broadway musicals, and it's fantastic.


Here's a few quotes:

It would appear that there exists a significant double standard for what is deemed acceptable behavior for male protagonists and female ones.

And:

What they know, and what I am learning, is that “likeable” means feminine. Even if the protagonist is the world’s greatest sharpshooter, she must still throw a match to get her man and take a number that says “I enjoy being a girl.

Fantastic - go read it!

Must Read #2:
Patton Oswalt delivered the keynote at Montreal's Just for Laughs in Montreal a week or so ago.  If you haven't seen this yet, it's got some great thoughts for any creative art maker - just substitute what you do any time he uses the word 'comedian'

He writes 2 letters, one to the 'comedian in 2012', and one to the 'gatekeepers':

I need to decide more career stuff for myself and make it happen for myself, and I need to stop waiting to luck out and be given. I need to unlearn those muscles.

 Our careers don’t hinge on somebody in a plush office deciding to aim a little luck in our direction. There are no gates. They’re gone.

Highly inspiring - check it out 

Roundtables from the Hollywood Reporter

For a while now, the Hollywood Reporter has been putting up group video interviews of actors during awards season.  Since Emmy noms are soon, they've just done a set with tv actors.  There are four interviews, roughly an hour each in length, separated into comedy and drama and men and women. 

I found gems in each of these interviews - ranging from Juliana Margulies' recommendation of an app for script work to Johnny Galecki reminiscing about the Roseanne set to Martha Plimpton and the comedy women talking about the intersection of female and comedy to the overall humility coming off of Kiefer Sutherland.

You can watch them at these links:

Comedy Women Roundtable
Comedy Men Roundtable
Drama Women Roundtable
Drama Men Roundtable

Let me know what you think! (I first found this via the website/blog Daily Actor)

Monday Thoughts

are coming in from all sorts of sources:

1) A NYT article about artistswanted.org and other web businesses that are changing 'the distinction between professionals and hobbyists and what it means to call yourself an artist when anyone with a cellphone can be a photographer, anyone with the right apps can be a designer, anyone with a Facebook page can amass a following, and anyone at all can dream up a concept and find a place to pitch it'

Live theater isn't mentioned explicitly, nor is acting, but there's lots to think about here.


2) the eloquent Polly Carl over on Howlround preaching transcendance over transactions.  It may be Monday, but this sermon is worth your time.

3) and finally, a huh? what were they thinking pair of literally hot pants.


BTW, I read all of these thanks to my feed reader.

Nathan Lane and Laurie Metcalf on O'Neill

It's an email exchange turned into an article for the NYTimes - he's playing Hickey in Iceman Cometh in Chicago, she's playing Mary Tyrone in Long Day's Journey in London.  Full of insight into process, backstage rituals and the challenges of O'Neill's characters.

I love that Lane makes sure to say hi to the two actors backstage who enter before him and talk about having seen Hickey when they enter.  I was fascinated by the facts that Metcalf wears prosthetics on her hands and prefers to be slightly hungry while performing a show.

A quote that resonated for me from Nathan Lane:

"Even after months of preparation you don’t really start to figure something like this out until you’re in front of an audience. You need time. In some ways just to get through the terror of taking this on, I think I had mapped it out too much and needed to let go of everything and let the play happen to me more." 

It's a really great article.  RTWT.

I'm an artist and I vote!

Thanks to Barry Martin, theater artist blogging here, I saw this info Monday, which shows the gender gap in male and female voices quoted in news and media, specific to the 2012 election, and women's issues.  It's stunning.  Take a look and then come back.  I'll wait.

I've also seen multiple posts reminding me that on June 4th, 1919, the 19th Amendment was passed by the Senate, after a lengthy state ratification process, and passage in the House a few weeks prior.

As an actor with an every day is different schedule, casting a ballot can be challenging.  But I can't let myself throw away something that women fought for, stood in the cold for, were beaten for, went on hunger strikes for.  I can't throw away my voice when voices like mine are underrepresented so drastically in news and media.

In California, we've got permanent absentee ballot status for anyone who wants it.  Your ballot comes in the mail, and you mail it back, or drop it off at a polling place on election day. Go here to set it up, fellow Californians.  Permanent absentee ballots are also available to residents of Maine, Maryland and South Dakota.  Oregon and Washington are mailed ballots only, and there are 22 more states where one can vote absentee on an election by election basis.  You can also vote early in many states, by visiting your local city hall, usually starting one month prior to the election.  Visit the web page for your state's board of elections to find out more.

Why I'm not an actress

I introduce myself as an actor. It's right there in the name of this blog. I can't remember when I last chose to call myself an actress.  I don't know if it was conscious at first, but here's why.

I'm an actor because actors have more options.  Actors play the hero or the comic relief or the villain.  They're at the center of the action, the one the story is about.  That's who I want to be.  Actors are the total package - a voice and a body and technique and more.

I can feel objectification in the word actress - it's not too different from the word starlet, somehow.  And starlets are usually hot or sultry or sexy, and not much beyond.  For me, there's also something in this word that connects to the ideas in the poem/story  'Ladies First'  written by Shel Silverstein and read by Marlo Thomas on Free to Be You & Me, the supremely awesome 70's collection of poems and songs and stories with an anti-gender stereotype message.  The protagonist of 'Ladies First' is a 'tender sweet young thing' who goes on safari, and keeps insisting on special treatment, and meets an untimely end.  I'm not looking to be treated differently because of my gender, and identifying as an actress feels like I'm asking for that.

Ultimately though, it comes down to this: there are women's films (chick flicks), women's novels (chick lit) and women's plays.  But the other category isn't men's films, men's novels or men's plays - those are just called films, novels and plays.
I'd like to see the various 'stories for women' categories become 'stories for humans' categories.  And I think part of the way to get there, is to use a gender-neutral term for what I do.  I act.  I'm an actor.

Do other people feel this way about the word actress?  I'm very curious...

On working for free

If you really think about it, working for free is the wrong name.  When we don't get paid, we're actually working for less than free - because we spend money on gas and/or transit and/or tolls; we might wear our own suit on the indie film and then have to get it dry cleaned afterwards;  they might ask us to get a certain hair cut, or the character really needs to wear lipstick and eye shadow that we'd never wear in our civilian life.  So, we end up losing money in order to participate in the project!

So, why not ask (or negotiate) for compensation for these expenses.  You're donating your time and energy, so maybe they can pay for your bridge tolls, or create a clothing allowance, or give you a make up store gift card in return.  When a stipend offsets your total expenses, then you're actually working for free. 

Set a bar for yourself.  It can be scary, and you may feel like you're limiting opportunities for yourself.  In the long run though, dropping those free projects will allow you to be available when projects that offer compensation for your time and energy come along.

However, if you do choose to work for free or less than free, have a very good reason to do so.  I have worked for free or less than free when it: 1) gave me the opportunity to meet people in the position to hire me for future work 2) allowed me to learn or practice a new skill related to my acting 3) would result in me getting some amazing new marketing materials for myself - photos, footage, etc.  4) promoted a cause or organization that I strongly believed in.

Value yourself and others will see your value.

A book for actors that's not about acting

I just finished reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.  I highly recommend this book.  It's really easy to read, and a fascinating look at why we do the things we do and how so many of the things we do are habitual.  It's a great tool for understanding yourself, as well as how to break or change old habits and create or build new ones.

Also, the book got me thinking a bit about how actors' lives are different.  We have comparatively few habits and routines - I do different things just about every day.  I go different places to work my multiple day jobs, and my schedule is constantly changing as I add auditions and fold in new projects or say good bye to old ones.  Because my day to day isn't 'routine', there are a lot of things I don't do habitually.

Even so, this book is still a terrific read.  You'll learn about keystone habits, and see how habits are influenced by groups, and understand why even when you build a strong habit, it may still falter under extreme pressure.

An excerpt from the book is available here.  It's a guide to how to replace a 'bad' habit with a better one. 

The Art of Fielding

It's a novel about college baseball players.  The main character is a shortstop and a significant portion of the action centers around games, practice, training and players on the team talking with each other.

Yet in this debut novel by Chad Harbach, I found some great images and metaphors for the actor's day to day experiences.  I'm having trouble writing much more without giving away big spoilers to what happens.

Here's an image that sticks with me - this shortstop character, Henry, has a post-game ritual.  He goes onto the field w/a coach and a first baseman and fields 50 ground balls.  The coach hits them to him, and he catches them and throws to first.  50 times. 

And his focus, his interest, his reason for doing it, is for the action.  For the love of scooping a baseball off the ground and throwing it to someone else.  It's not about the result, about what happens after that, it's just about doing that one thing, doing it to the best of his ability and then doing it again.

Sound familiar?

Super-hero Work

A sudden thought this week - being an actor is at times like being some kind of double agent or super-hero.  You're at the day job or somewhere in the middle of the daily routine and the call comes in, often w/a great deal of urgency and a significant amount of money on the line.

"Tomorrow morning, be at x address at x time.  Dress like a career woman.  Be ready to speak these words." (on camera industrial audition)
"By 5pm today, send me digital pictures of your hands, fronts and backs." (hand modeling for a SAG National commercial)
"Record these words and email an mp3 by x o'clock." (voiceover for a regional radio spot)

Somehow, you've got to immediately fold this incredibly urgent task into the next 24-48 hours.  You've got to always be ready for it.  You never know when the next summons could come or what it will be for. 

So the actor skill sets need to stay sharp, the mom sweater needs to always be clean, the recording equipment & camera need to be in good working order, and the communication devices are up and running.

I am so thankful for the understanding people in my life - friends, family, loved ones, and employers and work colleagues.  Without them, none of this would be possible.

Cure for the Mondays

Or for other actor slump related blahs.

The compliments folder - whether it's in your email server, or somewhere on your hard drive, make a folder called 'compliments' and, whenever someone writes you something nice, put it there. 

You'll have easy access to these gems whenever you need a pick me up.  Mine has put a smile on my face more than a few times.